Welcome back to the grind of January, the busyness, the juggling activities, children and trying to squeeze out just enough time, energy, money, motivation, etc. to get everything done. During this busyness we can start feeling that we are not enough – that we are not doing enough, or that there is not enough opportunity in the world for us. Believing that we are enough, and we have enough is a key to mental health.
Scarcity mentality is the term for when we feel that there is never enough (of something) to satisfy, which steals our joy and makes it harder for us to accomplish activities and find fulfillment in life.
Warning Signs of Scarcity Mentality
You are in a constant state of comparison.
You find yourself wishing others do not succeed.
You are consumed by competition.
You find your worth and identity are externally motivated.
You feel worse about yourself after an interaction with someone in person or on social media.
You are constantly anxious but do not know why.
You are clinging to perfection as the ideal way of being/doing.
The root of feeling that we are never enough comes from fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure and fear of being discovered as a fraud. The greatest casualty of “not enough” is losing our vulnerability and being unable to connect with others from a place of worthiness.
You are enough.
How can I say that with so much conviction without knowing you? Because “not enough” is a mindset not a reality. More than likely you’ve been taught (either by yourself or others) to believe that you are..
Never good enough.
Never perfect enough.
Never thin enough.
Never powerful enough.
Never successful enough.
Never smart enough.
Never certain enough.
Never safe enough.
Never extraordinary enough.
… and those thoughts need to be challenged for accuracy. If you are trained to always see them that way, then you’ll need some help to discover the truth.
How can you change the scarcity mindset?
Our automatic thought is to combat scarcity with its opposite, abundance. As Brené Brown notes in Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, “The counter approach to living in scarcity is not about abundance. In fact, I think abundance and scarcity are two sides of the same coin.” Chasing abundance only fuels the scarcity mindset and the feelings of never enough.
The way to start believing you are and have enough is to cultivate worthiness, a clear sense of purpose and to re-engage with others. Its about getting off the sidelines of hurling criticism and judgement and start showing up and being seen. Walk into that new relationship, creative process, important meeting, or difficult family discussion with courage and willingness to engage.
Whoa…. That sounds scary.
Yes, we’re talking about approaching the world differently than you are used to, therefore it can feel scary. But the benefit of feeling confident, living out your purpose and having meaningful relationships is worth the courage to say, “I’m enough”.
If this seems impossible or that you feel you’re not worth it to take on this, its time to allow others to believe in you while you are struggling. Pick up the phone and make an appointment.
I believe in you.