We live in a society which people constantly pursue happiness and then they feel disappointed when it does not magically appear. Advertisers promote their product by how much happiness it will give us. One of the first things I was told when I was looking into promoting my services was that I should put out a list of the top 10 ways to be happy. I refused because happiness is a not a destination. It is a choice.
The other day someone said to me, “you’re always happy.” I sat in amazement at the comment because over the time period the person had known me, I have had major life difficulties. I had operations, lost family members, was deeply betrayed and moved to whole new city where I had to re-establish myself. All those things deeply hurt me, and I had all the emotions that go with that – anger, sadness, fear, denial etc. As I thought about the comment, I realized that the person was right, overall, I am happy.
The happiness I am talking about is the deep underlying joy that comes from contentment. I have learned that bad things happen and at the same time good things happen. The only difference in how you choose to look at things. Emotions need to be experienced and expressed but they do not need to stall you out and keep you miserable.
How you can choose to be happy starts by noticing the good stuff around you. That wonderful hug from a friend after disappointing news, that smile from the stranger who passed you in the grocery store, the fact that you have a device you can read this on, or the beautiful flower on the path you were walking. There are so many good things happening around you today, and all you have to do is start to notice them.
Sometimes it is hard to notice the good stuff because we are so trained to be derailed by the bad stuff. If you need help choosing happiness, please reach out and contact us as it is a joy for me to help other people find their way out of the darkness.
Trish Pauls, MA RP
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