I have been surprised at how many men sit in my office with a baffled look on their face telling me they don’t get women. They love their wife and want her to be happy but they feel like they are in no-man’s land trying to navigate the minefield. One wrong step - BOOM - there goes their masculinity.
Women are not hard to understand and they do not have it out for you. The first thing to remember is your woman is unique, there is not another woman out there in the world like her. There are not any generalities or stereotypes when it comes to your woman, she’s one of a kind, non-replaceable and the best thing that ever happened to you.
Show her that!
Take the time to learn about your special woman by listening when she talks, making time for her, participating in activities she enjoys, and paying attention to things that matter to her (even if they don’t to you).
You are reading this article because you want to fix the problem. I appreciate that you are a fixer as it is a needed role in life. Sometimes problems do not need a fixer. Women like to talk about things because it helps their brain sort everything out. It does not mean they have not already come up with a solution or will not be able to solve it on their own. When you step in too quickly with your solution it makes her feel that you think she is stupid and not capable of figuring it out. This is where it gets tricky though because there are other times when she wants you to fix the problem for her. So how do you know? The greatest phrase for a man to ask when he starts to think of offering a solution is, “do you need me to fix this or just listen?” She’ll tell you. Then train yourself to flip that “fix it” switch on or off based on the answer.
These are two simple things to help you to start understanding women better but what is in it for you? Women need to have an emotional connection to be ready and willing for sex. As you start to focus on her the direct correlation is that it is going to turn her on. Welcome to the best sex of your life.
Exceptions: If your wife has felt neglected and unappreciated long enough you might need more help than these two tips. For more individualized help for your situation, please contact us today. We are here to help.
Trish Pauls, MA RP
HELPPS Psychotherapy Services