top of page

3 Steps to Overcoming Anxiety

We live in an anxious world. It is commonly accepted to talk about our worries with others without feeling shamed yet at the same time the busier our lives become the more we feel anxiety. We often call this experience “being stressed out”. We typically “feel” the anxiety in our body through sensations like heightened alertness, muscle tension, increased heart rate and blood pressure, chest tightness, gastrointestinal churning, and sweating. It really is not a pleasant experience.

3 Common Causes of Anxiety

and how to handle them

Lack of Control: The base of anxiety is when we do not feel in control of our own lives. We feel anxious because we think something negative is going to happen to us and we don’t have enough control to stop it. This is usually related to either to person or a situation. Examples of this is when someone treats you poorly and will not change, being diagnosed with a serious medial condition, or feeling we “have to” do something to keep our job. Depending on the level of control you feel in each situation determines how severe the anxiety becomes.

To put yourself back in the driver’s seat and take control again is to slow down the experience. Think about various parts of what could happen and then ask yourself if you can handle it. About 95% of the time you will realise you can handle it. The other 5%, you rely on friends who will support you and help you through it.

Isolation. We often feel vulnerable when we feel anxiety and therefore we start will isolate ourselves from people to try and stay safe. The more we are isolated the higher the anxiety. We need safe people who are warm, consistent and real with us because when we engage in this type of relationship our brains are naturally flooded with positive endorphins, such as Oxycontin. This causes us to feel centered, comforted and calm. If we have lost a relationship or have difficulty opening and trusting, we lose access to those endorphins which causes higher anxiety.

The best way to combat isolation is to spend substantial vulnerable time with the significant people in your life.

Being unprepared. When we are sheltered from the stressors of life through overprotective parents, friends or communities, the love helps us, but the over protection increases anxiety. This is because our competence level to handle life’s twists and turns is underdeveloped. When we are alone to deal with an overwhelming situation or person we feel like we have been dropped into a jungle with a pocket knife. Most of us would not feel prepared to deal with that. Therefore, not being ready with life skills, career know-how, common sense, handling failure and obstacles, and knowing what to do with difficult relationships, can cause intense anxiety.

The best way to deal with this type of anxiety is to start building your own competency levels. Take some risks and push yourself to do new things or even difficult tasks, even if you fail.

You can conquer your anxiety.

If you would like support and to learn new coping skills to overcome your anxiety. We are here to help. Book your appointment today.


Trish Pauls, MA RP

Registered Psychotherapist

130 views0 comments


bottom of page