A new year has begun, and we have been conditioned to believe that it is a time for new beginnings and fresh starts. When we start to think about what we want to change we look at ways our life is out of balance or ever hurts. One of the strongest painful feelings we can experience is loneliness. Especially after a holiday where it seems everyone else is happy.
We are naturally inclined to reach out to people to decrease our feelings of loneliness. There are all types of strategies out there to increase your social presence with the theory that if you’re in more places with more people it will result in finding someone. There is merit to that philosophy, but it is not the whole solution because sitting in a crowd of people and feeling lonely is worse than being alone.
One of the obstacles that prevents us from making a true connection with another person is we are looking for reasons we do not belong or are not loved. I’ve done this myself when a friend has not texted me in awhile or if someone ignores me at a gathering. In those moments I remind myself that they have things going on in their life, if I want the connection, then I should reach out.
It turns into how am I loving others instead of how are they loving me. When we give love, and offer it with an open heart is when we find it. To find love in 2018 is to start actively loving others. Changing the thought process from how do I not belong to how can I help someone else feel that they belong. What will happen in an increase feeling of belonging and love.
Controlling our thoughts and shifting our behaviour to open us up new concepts can be difficult. If you need help with it please contact our office and we can help you find your path to love.
Trish Pauls, MA RP